How Intentional Communication Rewires Your Identity, Discipline, and Daily Actions
Why the way you speak — to yourself and others — determines the man you become.
Your Words Are Building Your Life (Whether You Realize It or Not)
Matt's sitting in his truck after dropping the kids at school, scrolling through his phone. He sees the calendar reminder: "Gym - 6:00 AM."
It's 7:45.
He tells himself the same thing he's been saying for weeks: "I'll try to hit it tomorrow."
Sound familiar?
Most men don't realize they're sabotaging themselves with their own words. Not just what they say out loud, but the quiet conversations happening in their heads all day long.
Your words shape your beliefs. Your beliefs shape your actions. Your actions shape your life.
In a recent episode of the Lean & Lethal Podcast, I broke down one of the most overlooked performance tools men have: Intentional communication — with yourself and with others.
High-performing men don't just act differently. They speak differently.
They eliminate gray areas, set clear expectations, and communicate with precision — because clarity creates confidence, consistency, and results.
Let's break down why your language is either building you up or tearing you down, and what to do about it.
You Keep Getting Stuck Because Your Words Give You an Escape Route
Think about the last time you said any of these:
"I'm gonna try to get back on track…"
"Maybe I can make it to the gym this week…"
"I'll see what my schedule looks like…"
"I should probably eat better…"
Every single one of these phrases has a built-in escape hatch.
Matt knows this pattern well. He's a business owner who closes deals worth tens of thousands of dollars. When a client asks if he can deliver by Friday, he doesn't say "I'll try." He commits or he doesn't.
But when it comes to his own health? Suddenly it's all "maybes" and "we'll sees."
Why?
Because those words create loopholes. They create outs. They create gray areas where discipline goes to die.
Most men aren't inconsistent because they're lazy — they're inconsistent because their language leaves the door wide open for inconsistency.
And here's the harder truth: it doesn't just happen with others. It happens in your own head.
When your self-talk is:
"I'm the guy who can't stick to anything…"
"I'm someone who loses control on weekends…"
"I'm just not disciplined…"
Your actions will perfectly match that identity.
I remember standing in front of the mirror after my melanoma surgery, unable to train for 10 weeks. The voice in my head kept saying "You're losing everything you worked for."
But I had to stop and ask myself: Is that the story I'm choosing to live?
The stories you tell yourself become the standard you live up to.
Your Language Creates Your Identity (and Most Men Don't Even Realize They're Doing It)
Here's the loop most men are trapped in:
You use vague, weak language
That language reinforces a weaker identity
That identity drives weaker decisions
Those decisions reinforce the belief that you're undisciplined
The cycle repeats
Let me show you the specific language problems holding you back:
1. The Fiction of "Trying"
"Try" is the softest word a man can use. It's an emotional buffer. It protects you from commitment and gives you permission to fail before you've even acted.
Matt doesn't tell his biggest client: "I'll try to have the proposal ready by Monday."
So why does he tell himself: "I'll try to make it to the gym this week"?
There is no "trying." You do something or you don't.
2. Gray-Area Communication = Stress, Delays, Procrastination
When someone asks you something and you respond with "Maybe," "Let me check," "Probably," or "We'll see," you create stress for yourself AND the other person.
Psychologically, your brain treats unfinished decisions as open tabs — draining willpower, clarity, and energy.
Think about Friday afternoon when your buddy texts about golf on Saturday. You respond "Maybe, let me see how I feel."
Now you're carrying that decision until Friday night. Your wife doesn't know if you'll be around. Your buddy can't plan. And you're mentally exhausted from a question that should've taken 5 seconds to answer.
3. Negative Self-Talk Becomes a Self-Fulfilling Identity
When you tell yourself:
"I'm just built bigger..."
"I can't stay consistent..."
"I'm terrible with food..."
Your actions follow that script.
Your subconscious doesn't filter truth from sarcasm — it accepts the story you repeat.
I see this with guys who come to me saying "I know what to do, I just don't do it." That phrase alone reveals the problem. You've already decided you're the guy who doesn't execute.
4. To-Do Lists Create Anxiety, Not Action
To-do lists are open-ended. No deadlines. No structure. No priority. Just mental clutter.
This keeps men overwhelmed, indecisive, and constantly "busy" while rarely making progress.
When I did my time audit with my business coach, I realized I had a to-do list with 47 items on it. No wonder I felt behind every single day.
How Intentional Communication Makes You a More Disciplined, Capable, Effective Man
This is where your words become a weapon for discipline.
Here's what we implement inside the Lean & Lethal Operating System:
1. Replace "Try" With Clear, Binary Action Statements
Example:
❌ "I'll try to go to the gym three times this week."
✅ "I am training Monday at 6 AM, Wednesday at noon, and Friday at 6 AM."
Clarity removes negotiation.
When Matt shifted from "I'll try to train" to blocking it on his calendar like a client meeting, his consistency went from 40% to 95% in one month.
2. Put Commitments on Your Calendar (Not Your To-Do List)
High-performing men schedule their priorities.
If it matters, it goes on your calendar — with a time, a place, and a plan.
Your calendar is a commitment. A to-do list is a maybe.
This was my biggest breakthrough in Q3. I stopped treating training and meal prep as "things to get to" and started treating them like non-negotiable appointments with myself.
3. No More Gray-Area Responses
If someone asks something of you:
❌ "Maybe."
❌ "I'll think about it."
❌ "We'll see."
Say:
✔️ "Yes, I can."
✔️ "No, I can't."
✔️ "Not right now."
That's leadership. That's clarity. That's discipline.
Matt started doing this with his wife when she'd ask about weekend plans. Instead of "Maybe, we'll see," he'd say "Yes, let's do it Saturday morning at 9" or "No, I've got training and work commitments."
The result? Less friction, more respect, clearer expectations.
4. Change Your Identity Through New Self-Talk
Your internal script controls everything.
Instead of:
❌ "I'm the guy who can't control himself around food."
Use:
✔️ "I'm someone who makes disciplined choices."
✔️ "I'm someone who trains consistently."
✔️ "I honor my standards."
Identity first. Action follows.
When I was recovering from surgery and couldn't train, I had to shift from "I'm losing everything" to "I'm someone who adapts and comes back stronger."
That shift in language changed everything.
5. Your Words Become Your Standards And Your Standards Build Your Life
When your communication becomes:
Clear
Direct
Precise
Commitment-based
Your actions follow the same structure.
This is how disciplined, high-performing men operate — and why most men remain stuck in indecision, inconsistency, and distraction.
The Words You Use Today Shape the Man You Become Tomorrow
Your language is not "just words." It is the architecture of your identity.
Matt realized this when his 9-year-old son asked him: "Dad, are you going to the gym today?"
And without thinking, Matt said: "I'll try."
His son looked at him and said: "Dad, you always say that."
That moment hit different.
Because Matt realized: I'm teaching my son that commitments are optional. That "trying" is good enough. That it's okay to be the guy who talks but doesn't follow through.
If you want to:
Get in shape
Become more disciplined
Operate as a leader
Stop self-sabotaging
Show up as a better husband/father/business owner
Reclaim your edge
It starts with changing the way you communicate — with yourself and with others.
Your words are the blueprint. Your actions are the construction. Your identity is the finished product.
And if you want help creating the systems, standards, and structure to make all of this automatic…
This is exactly what we do inside The Lean & Lethal Project.
We rebuild the foundation - physically, mentally, and systematically..
When you're ready, reach out.
Stay Lean. Live Lethal.
— Bridger
