Why You Keep Getting in Your Own Way And How to Finally Break Through

(Lessons From My Latest Podcast With Mental Performance Coach Matthew Rieger)

Every week I talk to men who are successful in their careers, great providers for their families, respected in their circles, yet behind the scenes, they’re frustrated as hell.
Because no matter how much they know they should be doing…
they still fall into the same patterns:

• Start the week strong

• Lose momentum midweek

• Fall off on the weekend

• Wake up Monday starting over… again

If that’s you, listen up.
This isn’t a “motivation” problem.
And it sure isn’t a “try harder” problem.

In my latest podcast episode with mental performance coach Matthew Rieger, we broke down exactly why high-achieving men get stuck in these cycles and more importantly, how to get out of them.

Today’s blog is the cliff notes from that conversation, plus the frameworks I use inside the Lean & Lethal Project to help men reclaim their edge physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Let’s get into it.

You’re Doing Well in Life… But Not Operating at the Level You Know You Can

Here’s the thing about men like you:

You’re not “obese.”
You’re not “lazy.”
You’re not “undisciplined.”

But you’re not operating anywhere near your potential either.

You feel it.
Your family sees it.
Your body reminds you of it every morning.

The most common pain points I hear:

• “I know what to do, I’m just not consistent.”

• “I fall apart on the weekends.”

• “I do great Monday–Thursday, then something flips.”

• “I can’t get out of my own head.”

• “When I mess up one thing, my whole day spirals.”

• “I used to be an athlete… now I don’t recognize the guy in the mirror.”
  
  

And deep down?
You know you’re capable of more - physically, mentally, spiritually.
But something invisible keeps pulling you back down.

That’s where the real problem lives.

You Don’t Have a Discipline Issue… You Have an Internal Operating System Issue

Over the years I have noticed trends in both my own life and the lives or guys around me.

“Most men know exactly what they should be doing. The problem isn’t the ‘what’, it’s the mental load, the identity conflict, and the lack of systems that cause them to break down.”

Here are the real reasons you stay stuck:

1. You’re Trying to Use Willpower Instead of Systems

Willpower is a terrible strategy.
It burns out quickly and disappears when you’re stressed, tired, or overwhelmed.

That’s why you’re “disciplined” until life hits you in the face.

2. You’re Fighting Old Identity Programming

Matthew talked a lot about identity. How the stories you tell yourself shape everything.
If your internal identity still sees you as the guy who is “trying” to get in shape, or “trying” to be consistent, your behaviors will always default to that.

Identity beats intentions - every time.

3. You’re Caught in the Perfection Trap

This is big.
You think you need:

• The perfect week

• The perfect schedule

• The perfect motivation

• The perfect plan

So you wait… and wait… and wait.

Perfection is just fear of failing in front of yourself.

4. Your Environment Is Built for the Old You

You keep trying to be a new man inside the same environment that shaped your old habits.

You’re not set up to win.
And that’s not your fault, it’s just unexamined.

5. You Don’t Have Real Accountability

Not “likes on Instagram.”
Not “my buddy checks in on me.”
Not “I’m tracking on my app.”

I mean someone in your corner who actually holds a standard with you.
Someone who sees the blind spots you can’t see yourself.

(Matthew and I align strongly on this — accountability is the glue that holds everything together.)

Here’s How You Actually Break Out of This Cycle

This is the formula we kept coming back to in the podcast, and it’s the foundation of how I coach men inside The Lean & Lethal Project:

1. Clarify the Standard — Identity First

You need to define the version of yourself you’re becoming.

Not goals.
Not numbers on a scale.
Standards.

Ask yourself:

• What does the man I’m becoming do daily?

• How does he train?

• How does he eat?

• How does he carry himself?

• What does he say no to?

• How does he handle stress?
  
  

When you get clear on this, your decisions become binary:
Does this align with my standard or not?

2. Build Systems That Remove Decision Fatigue

This is where men win.

Systems like:

• A set breakfast and lunch every day

• Pre-scheduled training sessions

• Evening shutdown routine

• A water and step minimum

• A weekend guardrail plan

• A “morning-after” protocol for when things go off track

When the system is built, discipline becomes automatic.

3. Create the Right Environment

Your current habits thrive because your environment supports them.

To change the behavior, you must change:

• Your kitchen

• Your phone

• Your nighttime routine

• Your circle

• Your triggers

• Your morning setup
  
  

Success becomes frictionless.
Bad habits become inconvenient.

That’s how high performers live by default.

4. Rewire the Perfection Mindset

You don’t need a perfect week.
You need a consistent direction.

We teach guys this mantra:

“I don’t restart. I recalibrate.”

You get off track?
Fix the next decision.
Not Monday.
Not tomorrow.
Not after you feel guilty enough.

The next rep is always available.

5. Install Accountability - Real Accountability

Not cheerleading.
Not motivation.
Not casual check-ins.

Accountability with standards.

This is what separates the guys who make small “improvements” from the guys who transform their entire life.

You cannot self-correct from inside the problem.

This is where coaching changes everything because structure + identity + accountability = momentum.

PRACTICAL ACTION STEPS YOU CAN IMPLEMENT TODAY

Here are some fast, tactical strategies you can apply right now that we give our clients:

1. The 3 Daily Non-Negotiables

Pick three actions that happen regardless of mood:

• 30 minutes of movement

• A high-protein first meal

• 10 minutes of planning or reflection

These alone will shift your identity fast.

2. The Weekend Guardrail System

Because for most men, weekends are where progress dies.

• Eat a protein-heavy “anchor meal” before going out

• Cap drinks to 2–3 max

• Drink water between each

• Morning-after protocol: walk, water, whole food

• Monday audit: weight, sleep, consistency, stress

You don’t need restriction — you need guardrails.

3. The Identity Filter

Before every decision, ask:

“Is this aligned with the man I’m working towards becoming?”

If not, you already know the answer.

4. The “Two-Minute Rule”

If you’re resisting something (lifting, cleaning up, prepping food), commit to two minutes.
Two minutes ends the debate.
Action creates momentum.

5. The Accountability Trigger

Pick one person (coach, partner, friend) and send them:

• Your weekly plan

• Your non-negotiables

• Your daily check-in

You will perform at a higher level when someone is watching your standard.

If you’re reading this and realizing, “Yeah… this is me” — good.
Awareness is step one.
But nothing changes without action and accountability.

If you want help building the systems, identity, structure, and discipline to become the man you know you’re capable of being…
that’s exactly what we do inside The Lean & Lethal Project.

High standards.
Clear systems.
Elite accountability.
Real transformation.

When you’re ready, you know where to find me.